Last night at my twins’ bedtime, I tried to renew my annual tradition of inspiring fear in my children of not getting any presents from Santa if they don’t go to sleep and stay asleep. After the questions that ensued, I realized that I could no longer use my mother’s scare tactics – “the elves are outside the window watching.” In fact, I don’t think I’m technologically savvy enough to use this threat anymore, ever.
“How are the elves going to see us with our curtains closed?” – J.
“They installed a camera in the room, and they see you through that.” – Me
“How will they get the information to Santa, do they have an iPad, can they email him?” – B.
“Yes, they have little tiny iPads and they are constantly updating information about your behavior and sending it to Santa!” – Me
“How are they going to get back to the North Pole? Do they teleport?” – J.
“Um, yes, they do.” – Me
“What kind of portal do they use?” B.
“Err, a small one?” – Me
“Does it connect to their iPad like a telepod?” – J.
“Just go to bed, or you won’t get any presents! That’s all you need to know!” – Me (a.k.a. the technologically challenged Grinch Who Stole Christmas)