How Telling Off My Kid’s Football Coach Kicked Off A Major Parenting Crisis

AshleyCirque du Today56 Comments

I never thought football could cause an existential parenting crisis, but this spring, that is exactly what it did. My almost-10-year-old son, Sam, wanted to play flag football for the first time ever, and since he’d had no interest in playing a team sport since he quit baseball a year ago, we jumped on the idea. Sam had played pick-up … Read More

AshleyHow Telling Off My Kid’s Football Coach Kicked Off A Major Parenting Crisis

Where Are You, Christmas?

AshleyCirque du Today14 Comments

I may be more like a child than my own children when it comes to saying goodbye to Christmas. Even though some old-school Catholics like my mom believe that Christmas doesn’t truly end until after the feast of the Epiphany (when the wise men came to visit), I personally am not an old school Catholic (shocker). So I start feeling … Read More

AshleyWhere Are You, Christmas?

How Many Moms Does It Take To Draw A Heart?

AshleyCirque du Today14 Comments

This week, one of my five-year-old twin boys, Drew, and I sat down to do arts and crafts. (He actually pronounces it “arts and craps,” and I’ll never correct him since it pretty much sums up how I feel about doing this activity). “Let’s draw and cut out a big heart,” I said. “Then we can decorate it.” Not exactly Martha Stewart-worthy, but HE … Read More

AshleyHow Many Moms Does It Take To Draw A Heart?

Papa Does Preach Guest Post: Searching For Dad

AshleyCirque du Today21 Comments

You guys know that I am partial to the type of writing that merges the past with the present, and family history is a specialty of mine. You guys also know I haven’t written anything of my own in a while – I know, I’m sad about it too. Life sometimes gets in the way. But luckily, my buddy Mike … Read More

AshleyPapa Does Preach Guest Post: Searching For Dad

7 Reasons Mothers Are Like Mother Teresa

AshleyCirque du Today12 Comments

Every time I demonstrate my superhuman ability to remain patient and calm in the midst of one of my kids’ shit-storm meltdowns of whining, complaining, crying, or general pain-in-the-assing, my husband tells me I’m Mother Teresa. In case you’re wondering, I’m not. Mother Teresa died in 1997, and anyway, she’s a lot shorter than me. I always just shake my … Read More

Ashley7 Reasons Mothers Are Like Mother Teresa

I’m Having Two Penises?!

AshleyCirque du Today20 Comments

My husband and I staggered out of the ultrasound technician’s office after being told we were having twin boys and decided to table our freak-out session until his work day was finished. We drove off in our separate cars, me heading to Dunkin’ Donuts, and him probably skipping work and hitting a bar. What was especially jarring to me, combined … Read More

AshleyI’m Having Two Penises?!

I’m A Multi-Tasker Disaster

AshleyCirque du Today36 Comments

When my son turned two, I was just getting the hang of the Mom Thing. It was still tough, though, don’t get me wrong. Being a colic baby, my son had remained sensitively wired and prone to meltdowns. He also had WAY TOO MUCH ENERGY. But I was about to turn 33, and my husband and I decided that even though we … Read More

AshleyI’m A Multi-Tasker Disaster

Give it Up for Sexual Chocolate

AshleyCirque du Today31 Comments

Ever seen the movie “Coming to America” with Eddie Murphy and Arsenio Hall? Sure you have – it’s a classic. Ok, so then you remember the scene when Eddie Murphy doubles as Randy Watson, the lead singer of “Sexual Chocolate,” and gives a nails-on-the-chalkboard rendition of Whitney Houston’s “Greatest Love of All” to a slow-clapping audience. Love the movie, love … Read More

AshleyGive it Up for Sexual Chocolate

When Chickens Fly: the Dinnertime Cluster-F*ck

AshleyCirque du Today10 Comments

Dinnertime is traditionally a fantastic, epic cluster-fuck in our house. First of all, we’ve given up on forcing our three boys to try anything new. Oh, once upon a time I busted my butt trying to introduce new items on a daily basis, but I always ended up bashing my head against the kitchen wall as they were turned down, … Read More

AshleyWhen Chickens Fly: the Dinnertime Cluster-F*ck

Cirque du Today: Hangover Staycation

AshleyCirque du Today4 Comments

Today, my husband enjoyed his Obligatory Annual Debilitating Hangover Day. He went out with a slew of his college buddies last night to celebrate the end of Fantasy Football (a phenomenon I still don’t understand and don’t even attempt to). Apparently, when you’re a guy, nights out with your college friends, no matter how old you are, consist of fantasizing about … Read More

AshleyCirque du Today: Hangover Staycation