Abandoning Pretense Guest Posts: Roadside Furniture is the Voice of God, If You Listen Hard Enough

Cirque du Today9 Comments

Courtesy, Abandoning Pretense

I’m ecstatic and honored to announce that Kristen Mae of the very popular, very honest, very funny Abandoning Pretense is guest-posting here today! She read all about my religious upbringing in Old School Circus and thought this post would fit perfectly. She’s right. This story resonated with me on so many different levels, and I know it’ll do the same for you.  … Read More

Abandoning Pretense Guest Posts: Roadside Furniture is the Voice of God, If You Listen Hard Enough

Cirque du Today: My Breath Doesn’t Stink. Really!

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courtesy, drago art

Today, we started the New Year off with a bang. Well, almost a bang anyway. I was sitting on the couch with my three boys, snuggling and watching TV, when suddenly, my oldest, Mineological, starts complaining about something smelling bad. “Did someone have Poo-poo Gas [our word for farting, passing wind, cutting the cheese]?” I looked around accusingly. “No, it’s … Read More

Cirque du Today: My Breath Doesn’t Stink. Really!

Elf on the Shelf Bungee Jumping

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elf-on-the-shelf

Tonight, my mother-in-law was innocently eating her delicious re-heated Thanksgiving mashed potatoes (one of the rare dishes that I, as a culinarily-challenged human being, actually do right) when simultaneously, our newly re-instated Elf on the Shelf, Mario, was in the midst of working out an emotional crisis. One minute, he was perched happily on the chandelier just above the kitchen table, appearing to all the … Read More

Elf on the Shelf Bungee Jumping

Cirque du Today: Santa’s High Wire

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Credit, sbwadvertising.co.uk

Last night at my twins’ bedtime, I tried to renew my annual tradition of inspiring fear in my children of not getting any presents from Santa if they don’t go to sleep and stay asleep. After the questions that ensued, I realized that I could no longer use my mother’s scare tactics – “the elves are outside the window watching.” … Read More

Cirque du Today: Santa’s High Wire

Cirque du Today: Highs and Lows

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highs and lows2

Today I actually dared to bring two four-year-olds with me to do some clothes shopping for myself at Target – something I obviously rarely do, as evidenced by my threadbare clothing complete with knee and elbow patches.  While I am doing 180s in front of the mirror, trying to get the full visual of my sizable ass in skinny jeans, Jagger and … Read More

Cirque du Today: Highs and Lows

Cirque du Today: Grocery Clerks or Fortunetellers?

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I didn't change out of my pajamas for YEARS.

I’m pretty sure if I were in a master’s program for psychology, I would propose a thesis in which I got a job as a grocery store clerk, in order to perform well-rounded analyses of each person that came through my lane, solely based on their appearances and purchases. Hypothetically speaking, one of my analyses could go something like this: … Read More

Cirque du Today: Grocery Clerks or Fortunetellers?

Cirque du Today: The Elephant in the Room

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Credit, deviantart.net

I pride myself on volunteering at my son’s elementary school once a week. It’s something I always wanted my own mom to do for me, or at the very least, show up with freshly baked cupcakes for my class on my birthday. But with four young siblings at home, I was lucky when she sent me to school with a slab … Read More

Cirque du Today: The Elephant in the Room

Cirque du Today: Send in the Pants-less Clown

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pee street (2)

On the comical side of a recent torrential downpour, the boys and I braved the elements to get some last-minute, hunker-down supplies from the store. While pulling the full cart behind me through the parking lot, I held two little twin hands with one of my own, while Sam flanked the little ones, the wind whipping, and rain pouring on us sideways, … Read More

Cirque du Today: Send in the Pants-less Clown

Cirque du Today: Welcome to the Potty

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pee card edit 2

Who can deny it? Peeing IS a big responsibility. Not just for babies. For anybody. Ever had a UTI? Shit’s not fun. Anywho, to commemorate the occasion of his two-year-old brother peeing on the potty, my five-year-old focused the best of his artistry on a congratulatory card. (It would be helpful to add here that the two-year-old currently sits down to pee … Read More

Cirque du Today: Welcome to the Potty

Cirque du Today: Direct Me to the Restroom?

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restroom

I have always been a bathroom person. When I go to someone else’s house for the first time, and they are giving me a tour, honestly, what I’m only interested in seeing is their bathrooms. My own bathrooms were uber important to me when my husband and I built our house several years ago. I think I stood up in a rage, started … Read More

Cirque du Today: Direct Me to the Restroom?