Cirque du Today: Female Acrobats Need Not Apply

AshleyCirque du Today6 Comments

My 6-yr-old son, Mineological, and his daddy take great pleasure in watching ABC’s “Wipeout,” wherein people succumb to an ass-beating by way of a crazy obstacle course to win $50K. Especially entertaining, apparently, are segments in which guys take sterilizing shots to the family jewels. Anywho. The other night, Todd wasn’t home, so I was forced to watch Wipeout alone with M. The unspoken rule … Read More

AshleyCirque du Today: Female Acrobats Need Not Apply

Cirque du Today: Send in the Pants-less Clown

AshleyCirque du Today2 Comments

On the comical side of a recent torrential downpour, the boys and I braved the elements to get some last-minute, hunker-down supplies from the store. While pulling the full cart behind me through the parking lot, I held two little twin hands with one of my own, while Sam flanked the little ones, the wind whipping, and rain pouring on us sideways, … Read More

AshleyCirque du Today: Send in the Pants-less Clown

Cirque du Today: Direct Me to the Restroom?

AshleyCirque du TodayLeave a Comment

I have always been a bathroom person. When I go to someone else’s house for the first time, and they are giving me a tour, honestly, what I’m only interested in seeing is their bathrooms. My own bathrooms were uber important to me when my husband and I built our house several years ago. I think I stood up in a rage, started … Read More

AshleyCirque du Today: Direct Me to the Restroom?

Cirque du Today: Mommy’s Hall of Name-Calling Horrors

AshleyCirque du Today2 Comments

You truly don’t understand why your mother gave you all those unending, blathering guilt trips, which you endured with rolling eyes and exasperated sighs, until a child that you carried in your womb for 9 months (and made you gain 40 lbs that went straight to your ass), and whose hungry or sick cries you’ve lovingly answered at 3 in the morning a million … Read More

AshleyCirque du Today: Mommy’s Hall of Name-Calling Horrors