Cirque du Today: Female Acrobats Need Not Apply

Cirque du Today6 Comments

Credit, jimhalterman.com

My 6-yr-old son, Mineological, and his daddy take great pleasure in watching ABC’s “Wipeout,” wherein people succumb to an ass-beating by way of a crazy obstacle course to win $50K. Especially entertaining, apparently, are segments in which guys take sterilizing shots to the family jewels. Anywho. The other night, Todd wasn’t home, so I was forced to watch Wipeout alone with M. The unspoken rule … Read More

Cirque du Today: Female Acrobats Need Not Apply

Cirque du Today: Send in the Pants-less Clown

Cirque du Today2 Comments

pee street (2)

On the comical side of a recent torrential downpour, the boys and I braved the elements to get some last-minute, hunker-down supplies from the store. While pulling the full cart behind me through the parking lot, I held two little twin hands with one of my own, while Sam flanked the little ones, the wind whipping, and rain pouring on us sideways, … Read More

Cirque du Today: Send in the Pants-less Clown

Cirque du Today: Direct Me to the Restroom?

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restroom

I have always been a bathroom person. When I go to someone else’s house for the first time, and they are giving me a tour, honestly, what I’m only interested in seeing is their bathrooms. My own bathrooms were uber important to me when my husband and I built our house several years ago. I think I stood up in a rage, started … Read More

Cirque du Today: Direct Me to the Restroom?

Cirque du Today: Mommy’s Hall of Name-Calling Horrors

Cirque du Today2 Comments

bratty-kid-banner

You truly don’t understand why your mother gave you all those unending, blathering guilt trips, which you endured with rolling eyes and exasperated sighs, until a child that you carried in your womb for 9 months (and made you gain 40 lbs that went straight to your ass), and whose hungry or sick cries you’ve lovingly answered at 3 in the morning a million … Read More

Cirque du Today: Mommy’s Hall of Name-Calling Horrors