I’m An Embarrassing, Tired, Scotch-Tape Mom Who Loves Her Kids

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“I KNOW! It’s soooo embarrassing,” I heard my nine-year-old, Sam, say to his six-year-old twin brothers. “What’s embarrassing?” I asked, walking into our toy room, where they were building with Legos. “THIS,” Sam gestured impatiently with a swirling motion meant to encompass all the things. “This toy room. It’s full of baby stuff!” The twins nodded their agreement emphatically. “These … Read More

I’m An Embarrassing, Tired, Scotch-Tape Mom Who Loves Her Kids

My First Six Years With Twins

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Six years ago, I scooted my big army-tank ass out the door for an OB appointment. One hour later, I was sent to the hospital to have my SEVEN POUND twins! I was so anxious because our townhouse was in boxes; we were about 7 days away from moving to a new house, new neighborhood, new town with our almost 3-year-old … Read More

My First Six Years With Twins

Abandoning Pretense Guest Posts: Roadside Furniture is the Voice of God, If You Listen Hard Enough

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I’m ecstatic and honored to announce that Kristen Mae of the very popular, very honest, very funny Abandoning Pretense is guest-posting here today! She read all about my religious upbringing in Old School Circus and thought this post would fit perfectly. She’s right. This story resonated with me on so many different levels, and I know it’ll do the same for you.  … Read More

Abandoning Pretense Guest Posts: Roadside Furniture is the Voice of God, If You Listen Hard Enough

Cirque du Today: Hangover Staycation

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Today, my husband enjoyed his Obligatory Annual Debilitating Hangover Day. He went out with a slew of his college buddies last night to celebrate the end of Fantasy Football (a phenomenon I still don’t understand and don’t even attempt to). Apparently, when you’re a guy, nights out with your college friends, no matter how old you are, consist of fantasizing about … Read More

Cirque du Today: Hangover Staycation

The Myth of the Mama’s Boy

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I am the mother of three little boys, who very much love, demand the attention of, and save the drama for their mama. One might even call them “Mama’s Boys,” a term I now use lovingly, though that wasn’t always the case. Mama’s Boys, that much maligned segment of the male population, have been accused for centuries of being wimpy, … Read More

The Myth of the Mama’s Boy

Cirque du Today: The Coffee Wizard

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I’m not sure why I’ve always had to jump through hoops to make the nasty little coffee wizard that lives inside my coffee maker do his job. Our last coffee machine, which we had for 10 years and took no less than 15 minutes to brew one pot, made us push the On button, then the Brew button, then the On button … Read More

Cirque du Today: The Coffee Wizard

Cirque du Today: Santa’s High Wire

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Last night at my twins’ bedtime, I tried to renew my annual tradition of inspiring fear in my children of not getting any presents from Santa if they don’t go to sleep and stay asleep. After the questions that ensued, I realized that I could no longer use my mother’s scare tactics – “the elves are outside the window watching.” … Read More

Cirque du Today: Santa’s High Wire

Cirque du Today: Highs and Lows

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Today I actually dared to bring two four-year-olds with me to do some clothes shopping for myself at Target – something I obviously rarely do, as evidenced by my threadbare clothing complete with knee and elbow patches.  While I am doing 180s in front of the mirror, trying to get the full visual of my sizable ass in skinny jeans, Jagger and … Read More

Cirque du Today: Highs and Lows

Cirque du Today: Grocery Clerks or Fortunetellers?

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I’m pretty sure if I were in a master’s program for psychology, I would propose a thesis in which I got a job as a grocery store clerk, in order to perform well-rounded analyses of each person that came through my lane, solely based on their appearances and purchases. Hypothetically speaking, one of my analyses could go something like this: … Read More

Cirque du Today: Grocery Clerks or Fortunetellers?

Cirque du Today: The Elephant in the Room

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I pride myself on volunteering at my son’s elementary school once a week. It’s something I always wanted my own mom to do for me, or at the very least, show up with freshly baked cupcakes for my class on my birthday. But with four young siblings at home, I was lucky when she sent me to school with a slab … Read More

Cirque du Today: The Elephant in the Room