Profanity 101 Or That Time I Taught Creative Cursing

Old School Circus25 Comments

Profanity 101 - Abandoning Pretense

The summer after I finished third grade, when I was nine, we were living in a mansion owned by The Community. The Community entrusted it to Sister Helen as a caretaker, and we were all allowed to move in too. It was a Tudor home with seven bedrooms, two staircases, a sun porch (converted to a chapel), a huge yard … Read More

Profanity 101 Or That Time I Taught Creative Cursing

When Chickens Fly: the Dinnertime Cluster-F*ck

Cirque du Today10 Comments

when chickens fly

Dinnertime is traditionally a fantastic, epic cluster-fuck in our house. First of all, we’ve given up on forcing our three boys to try anything new. Oh, once upon a time I busted my butt trying to introduce new items on a daily basis, but I always ended up bashing my head against the kitchen wall as they were turned down, … Read More

When Chickens Fly: the Dinnertime Cluster-F*ck

Why I Blame My Butt Issues On Boys

Old School Circus12 Comments

Big Top Family post: The Great Gluteus Maximus www.bigtopfamily.com

Today I thought I should discuss one of my deepest, darkest obsessions: my big ol’ big ol’ butt. You might think this discussion vain, but truly, this would only be an exercise in vanity if I were in love with my Gluteus Maximus, or if I thought other people loved it, or if it were WORTHY of love! I’m not, … Read More

Why I Blame My Butt Issues On Boys

Doritos and Me: A Lifelong Love Story

Old School Circus27 Comments

www.bigtopfamily.com

People who have known me a long time, short time, very well, or not so much, all know this simple fact: I love me some Doritos. But what they may not know is that like Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton, Spencer Tracy and Kathryn Hepburn, Farrah Fawcett and Ryan O’Neal, Doritos and I have a passionate AND complicated relationship. My … Read More

Doritos and Me: A Lifelong Love Story

Grandma’s Light Show

Cirque du Today11 Comments

grandma3

My beloved Grandma on my dad’s side, who passed away almost four years ago, would decorate for Christmas like it was her JOB. In fact, her job actually was  to decorate—she worked as a successful, quirky, eclectic interior decorator until she was 92 years old.  (Ninety-FREAKING-two years old, and she lived to 96)! As such, she reveled in and thrived on … Read More

Grandma’s Light Show

That Time My Mom Thought She Was A Nun

Old School Circus23 Comments

That time my mom thought she was a nun. www.bigtopfamily.com

I was eight years old in the Year of the Brown Dress, as my older sister and I eventually came to call it. My mom had been raised Catholic but in the years since divorcing my dad, she had become a Born Again Christian. And in her heightened state of Jesus Awareness, she’d decided to “sacrifice her vanity” by wearing … Read More

That Time My Mom Thought She Was A Nun

The Time I Fought Back

Old School Circus26 Comments

gremlin edit

In 1987, I was 13 years old, and my family’s main method of transportation was a 1976 AMC Gremlin. It was red with blue doors and covered in rust, and as if these aesthetics weren’t enough to draw stares, it had a muffler that growled and coughed, assaulting the ears and noses of unlucky onlookers. We lived in a struggling steel … Read More

The Time I Fought Back

Cirque du Today: Direct Me to the Restroom?

Cirque du TodayLeave a Comment

restroom

I have always been a bathroom person. When I go to someone else’s house for the first time, and they are giving me a tour, honestly, what I’m only interested in seeing is their bathrooms. My own bathrooms were uber important to me when my husband and I built our house several years ago. I think I stood up in a rage, started … Read More

Cirque du Today: Direct Me to the Restroom?