Cirque du Today: Direct Me to the Restroom?

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I have always been a bathroom person. When I go to someone else’s house for the first time, and they are giving me a tour, honestly, what I’m only interested in seeing is their bathrooms. My own bathrooms were uber important to me when my husband and I built our house several years ago. I think I stood up in a rage, started sniveling, and stalked out of the builder’s showroom (and into the bathroom) when my husband wouldn’t agree with me on tile for our master bath.  I guess bathrooms might be important to everyone, but they’re especially sentimental for me. Here’s why.

When I was growing up as the second oldest in a house full of six kids, my greatest refuge was the bathroom. Whether I had to actually “go” or not was irrelevant. Sink full of dishes? I gotta go to the bathroom. Time to clean up the cluttered room I shared with my sister? I gotta go to the bathroom. My little siblings swinging from the chandelier? I gotta go to the bathroom. In the cool, quiet confines of that sacred place, I found my safe haven from the noise, chaos, and responsibility that came along with the family circus. I would always have a book stashed underneath a pile of towels or in the very back of the linen closet, and with it,  I would sit for as long as I pleased, with no one asking me to do something or watch somebody. It’s true my mother began to worry I had digestive issues, but really, that only lended to my cause.

Today, after a long day of answering the non-stop demands of my cherished but often-chafing children, I was listening to my two-year-olds screech demands from their high chairs at dinnertime, and my five-year-old repeatedly asking me if we could play a “talking game,” but all I was dreaming about was the bathroom. That big, beautiful bathroom with the tile that I finally won-out on,  is just begging for me to come sit down, make myself all cozy, and forget about life for a while. And will I make my daydream come true? Let me answer this way. In the 12 hours I have been awake, I have visited the bathroom ONCE. Once and only once. I might visit it again once my children are in bed. And then I might get online and order some Depends Undergarments.

Cirque du Today: Direct Me to the Restroom?

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