7 Reasons Mothers Are Like Mother Teresa

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Big Top Family - 7 Ways Mothers Are Like Mother Teresa - www.bigtopfamily.com

Every time I demonstrate my superhuman ability to remain patient and calm in the midst of one of my kids’ shit-storm meltdowns of whining, complaining, crying, or general pain-in-the-assing, my husband tells me I’m Mother Teresa. In case you’re wondering, I’m not. Mother Teresa died in 1997, and anyway, she’s a lot shorter than me. I always just shake my … Read More

7 Reasons Mothers Are Like Mother Teresa

Mortification Purge Party

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Big Top Family - Mortification Purge Party - www.bigtopfamily.com

I say stupid things all the time. I do stupid things all the time. When I allow myself to remember all the stupid things I’ve said and done in my life, my whole body cringes.  I can only stand to remember these things for a few seconds, and then I have to shut my eyes, plug my ears, and start … Read More

Mortification Purge Party

Save Your Husband’s Life: Read I Just Want to Be Alone

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I just want to be alone blog post

“Nobody said it was easy / No one ever said it would be this hard” croons Chris Martin in the Coldplay ballad “The Scientist.” In it, who effing knows what Chris Martin was really singing about . . . he could’ve been talking about changing baby daughter “Apple’s” crappy diaper for all we know. But I like to think he … Read More

Save Your Husband’s Life: Read I Just Want to Be Alone

Survival of the Thickest

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Funny post by Ashley Allen of Big Top Family on having twins

I was having a psychotic break just after being told I was going to be on mandatory Twin Bed Rest for two months. My husband and I were also in the process of building a house 45 minutes away and planning to move with our almost-3-year-old son. So in my last weeks of freedom, I waddled around hurriedly trying to … Read More

Survival of the Thickest

I’m Having Two Penises?!

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Big Top Family - I'm Having Two Penises - www.bigtopfamily.com

My husband and I staggered out of the ultrasound technician’s office after being told we were having twin boys and decided to table our freak-out session until his work day was finished. We drove off in our separate cars, me heading to Dunkin’ Donuts, and him probably skipping work and hitting a bar. What was especially jarring to me, combined … Read More

I’m Having Two Penises?!

I’m A Multi-Tasker Disaster

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Big Top Family: Multitasker Disaster. www.bigtopfamily.com

When my son turned two, I was just getting the hang of the Mom Thing. It was still tough, though, don’t get me wrong. Being a colic baby, my son had remained sensitively wired and prone to meltdowns. He also had WAY TOO MUCH ENERGY. But I was about to turn 33, and my husband and I decided that even though we … Read More

I’m A Multi-Tasker Disaster

Give it Up for Sexual Chocolate

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karaoke pic

Ever seen the movie “Coming to America” with Eddie Murphy and Arsenio Hall? Sure you have – it’s a classic. Ok, so then you remember the scene when Eddie Murphy doubles as Randy Watson, the lead singer of “Sexual Chocolate,” and gives a nails-on-the-chalkboard rendition of Whitney Houston’s “Greatest Love of All” to a slow-clapping audience. Love the movie, love … Read More

Give it Up for Sexual Chocolate

From Dipshidiots to Valentines

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Valentines

It just so happened that my first-ever date with my husband Todd fell on Valentine’s Day. It was 2002, and we’d just looked at our little single people calendars and chosen a Thursday, not thinking of the date’s significance. It was a lunch date, because I hadn’t made up my mind yet about him, and I wouldn’t want to waste … Read More

From Dipshidiots to Valentines

I Fought the Colic and the Colic Won

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sammy3

When I had my first baby at the age of 31, I thought I’d know what to do. I had four younger siblings, plus I was a nanny for most of my college years. Changing muddy diapers? Applying Desitin to chapped little butts? Dressing squirmy, delicate infants? Doing the Baby Bounce to put them to sleep?  Dodging the Puree of … Read More

I Fought the Colic and the Colic Won

The Angry Exerciser

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Hold My Hoops

I’ve always had a Love/Loathe relationship with exercise – mostly Loathe. But there have been times in my life that I have actually loved it, even though that love was an Angry Love. Let me explain. The first time I recall ever consistently exercising, I was 20 years old and in desperate need of an exercise regimen outside of lifting … Read More

The Angry Exerciser