Big Top Family Goes On Tour!

AshleyCirque du Today15 Comments

The talented and beautiful Jessica McNeill Azar of Herd Management asked me to join her on this Virtual Blog Tour, and I was afraid to turn her down – she’s 5’10” and she could totally kick my ass if she wanted to! Also, she was just published on The Huffington Post with her awesome Father’s Day essay about capable Dads, … Read More

AshleyBig Top Family Goes On Tour!

Abandoning Pretense Guest Posts: Roadside Furniture is the Voice of God, If You Listen Hard Enough

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I’m ecstatic and honored to announce that Kristen Mae of the very popular, very honest, very funny Abandoning Pretense is guest-posting here today! She read all about my religious upbringing in Old School Circus and thought this post would fit perfectly. She’s right. This story resonated with me on so many different levels, and I know it’ll do the same for you.  … Read More

AshleyAbandoning Pretense Guest Posts: Roadside Furniture is the Voice of God, If You Listen Hard Enough

7 Reasons Mothers Are Like Mother Teresa

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Every time I demonstrate my superhuman ability to remain patient and calm in the midst of one of my kids’ shit-storm meltdowns of whining, complaining, crying, or general pain-in-the-assing, my husband tells me I’m Mother Teresa. In case you’re wondering, I’m not. Mother Teresa died in 1997, and anyway, she’s a lot shorter than me. I always just shake my … Read More

Ashley7 Reasons Mothers Are Like Mother Teresa

Mortification Purge Party

AshleyCirque du Today38 Comments

I say stupid things all the time. I do stupid things all the time. When I allow myself to remember all the stupid things I’ve said and done in my life, my whole body cringes.  I can only stand to remember these things for a few seconds, and then I have to shut my eyes, plug my ears, and start … Read More

AshleyMortification Purge Party

Save Your Husband’s Life: Read I Just Want to Be Alone

AshleyCirque du Today14 Comments

“Nobody said it was easy / No one ever said it would be this hard” croons Chris Martin in the Coldplay ballad “The Scientist.” In it, who effing knows what Chris Martin was really singing about . . . he could’ve been talking about changing baby daughter “Apple’s” crappy diaper for all we know. But I like to think he … Read More

AshleySave Your Husband’s Life: Read I Just Want to Be Alone

Survival of the Thickest

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I was having a psychotic break just after being told I was going to be on mandatory Twin Bed Rest for two months. My husband and I were also in the process of building a house 45 minutes away and planning to move with our almost-3-year-old son. So in my last weeks of freedom, I waddled around hurriedly trying to … Read More

AshleySurvival of the Thickest

I’m Having Two Penises?!

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My husband and I staggered out of the ultrasound technician’s office after being told we were having twin boys and decided to table our freak-out session until his work day was finished. We drove off in our separate cars, me heading to Dunkin’ Donuts, and him probably skipping work and hitting a bar. What was especially jarring to me, combined … Read More

AshleyI’m Having Two Penises?!

I’m A Multi-Tasker Disaster

AshleyCirque du Today36 Comments

When my son turned two, I was just getting the hang of the Mom Thing. It was still tough, though, don’t get me wrong. Being a colic baby, my son had remained sensitively wired and prone to meltdowns. He also had WAY TOO MUCH ENERGY. But I was about to turn 33, and my husband and I decided that even though we … Read More

AshleyI’m A Multi-Tasker Disaster

Give it Up for Sexual Chocolate

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Ever seen the movie “Coming to America” with Eddie Murphy and Arsenio Hall? Sure you have – it’s a classic. Ok, so then you remember the scene when Eddie Murphy doubles as Randy Watson, the lead singer of “Sexual Chocolate,” and gives a nails-on-the-chalkboard rendition of Whitney Houston’s “Greatest Love of All” to a slow-clapping audience. Love the movie, love … Read More

AshleyGive it Up for Sexual Chocolate

From Dipshidiots to Valentines

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It just so happened that my first-ever date with my husband Todd fell on Valentine’s Day. It was 2002, and we’d just looked at our little single people calendars and chosen a Thursday, not thinking of the date’s significance. It was a lunch date, because I hadn’t made up my mind yet about him, and I wouldn’t want to waste … Read More

AshleyFrom Dipshidiots to Valentines